Day 119 - April 29, 2010

To be afraid and to be brave is the best courage of all. - The Courage of Sarah Noble by Alice Dalgliesh

Today I'll do one small brave thing.

I started my final art project. That was a legitimate brave thing. I knew it would take hours, so I planned to work on it pretty much all day.. But I didn't, because I didn't want to start, because I didn't know if I could do it. It's due at 1:30pm tomorrow, though, so I knew I had to start it to finish it. And eventually I did. I recently finished it, and I'm actually pretty pleased. It's not perfect, but I think it's pretty good. Better than I thought it would be, at least.

Well, I suppose I should sleep now. Maybe I'll do some brave things in my dreams :)

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Day 118 - April 28, 2010

"You tried. All day. With a big heart. And that's what counts." - The Best Kid in the World by Peter H. Reynolds

Winning is overrated. Starting now, I'll repeat that to myself five times a day until it sinks in. Trophies and medals and blue ribbons are not the only signs of success. I can finish last in a race and still claim a victory that no trophy can express. What really counts is my effort, my heart. No one can truly defeat me without my permission.

A few things:

• Why would I give someone permission to defeat me?
• I finished last in pretty much every race I ran while on the track team, and I'm pretty sure my victory there was not dying while I ran.
• I think I won today :)

Anyway. I pretty much won at life today. Just sayin. And it was pretty cool. I think I enjoyed it. But I didn't win a prize or anything. I just won happiness. And that's a good thing to have.

I've been awake too long, and I'm losing the battle against sleep. Which is okay! Winning it would be overrated.

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Day 117 - April 27, 2010

We're moving today. I'm so scared God. I've never lived anywhere but here. - Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret. by Judy Blume

If there's a big change coming, I'll feel free to be scared, but I won't go off the deep end. I'll keep busy and I'll keep talking, and pretty soon I'll feel at home again.

Uhhh, yeah. Moving sucks a lot. Just sayin. But I don't think that's what this is about.

I think it's about change. Which is happening, because classes just ended, finals start soon, and summer will bring changes. I've never had a summer break from college before. It's hard to know what to do.

Change just happened in the Delta Pi house.. Not our legit house, because that doesn't exist, but you know what I mean. Well, items have changed hands, which is sort of symbolic for other change, in certain situations. So that was interesting. And long. Very, very long.

I am definitely not thinking straight at 2am right now.. So I'm going to change my position on my bed.. And go to sleep.

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Day 116 - April 26, 2010

The whooping cranes take off like feathered spears. Once more to northern nesting grounds they go. May it always be so. - Song for the Whooping Crane by Eileen Spinelli and Elsa Warnick

I may never see a whooping crane, but in some small way it's nice to know that as the elements of my life come and go, tumble and change, I can always count on that big white bird heading north year after year after year. May it always be so.

So basically there are some things that never change. Constants that you can look to, like the changing seasons, migrations, sunrise and sunset, God's love (if you believe in that, which, I do).

When everything else seems to be going crazy, you should be able to look to those things and chill out, because some things never change, in a good way.

Since the sunrise is something that always happens, and since the sunrise brings an 8am (my last of the semester!), I will acknowledge another constant - sleep.

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Day 115 - April 25, 2010

"Sorry, Dewey, but someone has to go last. This year it's our turn." - Book Fair Day by Lynn Plourde

If I find myself last in line today, I won't get bent out of shape. Who do I think I am, some Prince of the Universe who never has to be last? Last happens. First happens. It's called life. Big deal.

Gosh, if I were Prince of the Universe.. What would I do?

But yeah, I don't really mind being last in line.

Unless it's last in line to sleep. And with the nighttime cold medicine I took, that is definitely not the case. Good night.

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Day 114 - April 24, 2010

He said practicing every day was more important than how long I practiced. - Playing Dad's Song by D. Dina Friedman

If I wait too long to lift my dream, I may find that it's too heavy. But if I start now, day by day, every day, someday people may marvel at how much I can carry.

Since I've just gotten back to MaWa from hanging out with Rabbit and Matt.. I'm currently thinking that my dream should be a better relationship between Delta Pi and Theta Chi. Until I talked to him tonight, I didn't really understand that our relationship is not the way it should be. My big has been telling me that I need to love the boys, and hang out with the boys, and I was told the same thing tonight.

I think the reason I didn't notice so much is because I do try to love the boys and hang out with them. I totally love my brothers; they are some of my favorite people in the world, and I think just as highly of them as I do of my sisters. They're crazy important to me and I really don't know what I would do without them.

So I guess my dream for today's quote is that Delta Pi and Theta Chi get to be a total dream team (Jay-Z and Beyonce, Tessa and Daniel, Delta Pi and Theta Chi). By the way, it's for some reason really hard for me to spell the word Theta. It takes a lot of mental effort. Anyway.

I'll go ahead to bed and dream about the dream. Goodnight, brothers and sisters! (And everyone else, too)

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Day 113 - April 23, 2010

When they reached the school, Little Brown Bear waved good-bye to Papa Bear and blow Mama Bear a kiss. - Little Brown Bear Won't Go to School! by Jane Dyer

Do I ignore my parents when other kids are around? Next time my dad drops me off somewhere, I'll say "Thanks, Dad." Next time I'm with my mother and we bump into my friends, I won't act as if I don't know her.

I always know my mother.

Usually.

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Day 112 - April 22, 2010

The first Earth Day, held on April 22, 1970, marked a turning point in the history of public understanding of nature and of humankind's place in it. - The Environmental Movement by Laurence Pringle

Today I will do what, really, I should do every day - I will honor the earth. My earth.

I wonder if Rachel Carson had anything to do with that. I miss her.

Today I wore my shirt that says, "Celebrate Earth Day," and I stood outside watching people eat the energy-free meal while I talked to the best grandbig in the whole wide world.

Now the earth will really love me, because I'm going to sleep. (Yeah, I know. That doesn't make sense.)

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Day 111 - April 21, 2010

His reply was discouraging. - Charlotte Brontë and Jane Eyre by Stewart Ross

If I get a discouraging answer today, I'll let my feelings have their way for a while. But I won't sink into them and drown. I'll keep slogging through them. Because I know that on the other side is a better place.

Okay, I'm slightly discouraged at the moment. I just don't understand people, or my life, or anything like that. And I feel like there isn't enough time for them to be explained before it's too late.

I would like these situations to be remedied as soon as possible. Really, I think it's just one situation, but if I pluralize, I feel like I can generalize.

I went to my first DRP today. I never went to one before I was a sister! That made me quite sad, but it's good to be on this side :)  - Which, coincidentally, seems to be exactly what this quote today is saying. You may be discouraged about something, but the other side of discouraged is a better place.

So, given the nature of today's quote, I'll try to go to bed discouraged, and wake up in a better place. (Hopefully tonight there aren't nightmares like last night :( because there is no roommate to make them better!)

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Day 110 - April 20, 2010

My advice to young poets is, "Look to your own lives." - A Fire In My Hands by Gary Soto

Today I am going to write a poem about myself, and there's only one place I need to turn to for research: little ol' fascinating me.

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
My eyes are green,
And I like cool shoes.

I'm the Baby Pi,
And I freakin' rock.
When you see how crazy/sexy/cool I am,
It'll knock off your socks.

I'd rather go to sleep
Than study for my calculus test.
But if I don't, I might not pass,
So studying would be for the best.

My back hurts quite often,
Including right now.
I'd really love a massage
From someone who knows how.

When I'm in my room alone
In the middle of the day
I sing along to Pandora
While wasting time away.

I sleep with Stitch
and dance with myself
The boys want the goodies
But right now they're on the shelf.

The Goo Goo Dolls are singing
"Without You Here"
And I'm sitting here thinking
About you, my dear.

School is almost over
And I don't know what I'll do
Without all of my sisters
And, of course, you.

If you don't know what I'm saying,
Or if you're slightly confused,
Go to bed, don't worry about it,
Your ignorance will be excused.

I've got a Calculus test in just under 8 hours
So now studying's the plan.
Hopefully soon I'll be asleep;
What rhymes now? Renaissance man.

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Day 109 - April 19, 2010

"Feelings stink," he declared. "This school stinks." - The Twinkie Squad by Gordon Korman

Will this turn out to be one of those really bad days that make me want to say "Life stinks"? If it is, so be it. But right now I pledge that when I wake up tomorrow morning, life and I will have a fresh start.

No, life is actually pretty good. Michaela is here and awesome, and today was a pretty darn good day.

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Day 108 - April 18, 2010

"Look around," said Gabby. "It's a dump!" - The Messy Lot by Larry Dane Brimner

I live in a house, but I also live on a street, in a neighborhood. Maybe it doesn't look like a dump, but sometimes I'll see a soda can or a Cracker Jack box or an apple core on the sidewalk, and, of course, I just walk by - like everybody else. Maybe for just one day in the year I might not be everybody else. Maybe one day in the year I might walk the length of my one little block with a bag and pick up trash. Maybe today.

Well, first of all. Who eats Cracker Jacks anymore? And aren't apples biodegradable, or something like that?

I'm not really living on a street at the moment where I can do those things. And there isn't a lot of trash on the little pretend streets on campus. I'll clean my room, though.

I'll clean it tomorrow, though. Because tonight I'm going to sleep. Right now, actually.

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Day 107 - April 17, 2010

Nothing in the world is quite as adorably lovely as a robin when he shows off.... - The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett

Today I will be my own best self.

I was my best self - and better! <3 <3 <3 <3

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Day 106 - April 16, 2010

Nobody can be uncheered with a balloon. - Eeyore Has A Birthday by A. A. Milne

The things that used to cheer me up, do they still make me smile? If not, today I'll blow up a balloon and get reacquainted with the little kid in me.

Lots of things make me happy.

Once my cousin Jamie and I waited in the car while our dads played frisbee golf, and a feather got in the car, and we were amused for hours. Good thing - frisbee golf is freakin boring.

But I do think I still get happy because of the little things.

I'm happy to be with my brothers and sisters right now, at my first Delta Pi function - which I'll now get back to :)

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Day 105 - April 15, 2010

"Do not boast," Bellini said. - Mirette on the High Wire by Emily Arnold McCully

I will not make the boasters' mistake. I'll shut my mouth and let my actions do the talking.

I don't think I boast, really. I think I'm confident sometimes, which can come off as bragging or boasting or whatever, but I really don't think it's a bad thing to think you're awesome. Honestly.

I suppose, since it's 4am, that instead of bragging, I'll go to sleep.

ALSO!
ABC: Life from the start of the alphabet: Big, Huge Favor???

Help out one of my sisters! Vote for her design!!

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Day 104 - April 14, 2010

"Nobody believed the Titanic could sink.... That's why none of the passengers believed the ship was sinking, right up until the last minute, until it was too late." - White Star: A Dog on the Titanic by Marty Crisp

Today, like every day, I'll be bombarded by marketers promising me everything from clear skin to popularity. I'll begin by not believing everything they say. Then I'll test their claims against my own common sense and the experience of others. And finally I'll ask myself: Do I really need - or even want - this product?

We're talking about things like this in Mass Comm right now; we're on the advertising chapter. It's interesting, I think. We're also supposed to be media literate, so that is basically exactly what the task for today is.

The only time I had chance to be persuaded to buy anything was earlier tonight when I went to Abingdon with Annie. We went to Kroger with the intent of buying sunscreen - if you didn't know, I'm pretty pale. Okay, very extremely super pale. So I'll burn in like, 5 minutes. I wanted sunscreen, something salty, and juice. I got sunscreen, after comparing many different kinds. (Do you think 30 SPF is enough?!! ;)) I got Chex Mix for my salty requirement, and then instead of juice, I got knock-off Oreos. Mmmmm. I think that was a good choice.

If you put mint Oreos in the microwave for a little bit.. The inside will be melty and perfect. Oh my goodness. Typing it makes me want to do it. But I won't, for a few reasons. One, I don't have a plate out to put any on. Two, I really want to get to bed early tonight. Three, I don't need anything to eat. Four, I'm lazy. And five, I'm not wearing any pants. I'd have to get dressed. Fat chance of that happening.

The "marketers" probably want me to stay up and waste my life, but I will not listen, because I know that sleep is wonderful. Goodnight!

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Day 103 - April 13, 2010

Since Miss Hagerty appreciates beauty, I put a pansy in a bud vase in the corner of her tray. - A Corner of the Universe by Ann M. Martin

Many life lessons can be found in this simple gesture. Let's focus on just two: sensitivity and action. That is, (1) being aware of what others like and (2) acting on it.

Am I a kind, sensitive, giving person? Sometimes it's hard to know, because for much of my life these qualities have been assignments handed down from my parents: "Write a thank-you note to Aunt Sally." ... "Tell Grandma she looks nice in her new outfit." ... and so on. Today, if only to prove to myself that I can do it, I'll aim my sensitivity at someone and see what I come up with. Then I'll do something nice - without being told.

I really wish I had read today's page before 12:35am. Because then I could have done something nice!

Okay. A few comments.

• The book that this quote is from is the book that I remember as the first book that made me cry. I don't remember what it was about, even, although I could pick it out of a line-up by its cover (There's the graphic designer in me, I suppose).
• I was thinking that my parents never told me things like that, but then I realize.. yeah, they did. And I did them.
• And about the previous blogs, I wrote them down on the day I was supposed to. Last night's was somewhat strange because I was very very very tired.

Something else that I thought of.. I did aim my sensitivity at someone today! Meredith asked me to help fill balloons with paint for the stress fair, so I attempted to help. They had to go get different balloons, though, and I then had to go to my study session, so I didn't end up being much help. I did try to help, though, and I think it was being pretty nice. And it came out well, too. I ended up with a lovely surprise when I got back to my room later :))

OH! I thought of a nice thing. I just wrote someone an anonymous note, and I'm going to go stick it on their door. It should hopefully make them smile, since I think they need it at the moment.

Handled it! Like a ninja. What. Up.

I'll try for some more nice things tomorrow, too. But for now, good night!

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Day 102 - April 12, 2010

Symmetry is a state of balance. - Math for Kids & Other People Too! by Theoni Pappas

Is my life out of balance? Am I tilting too much one way or another? Let it be known that yesterday was the last day I was one-sided.

I don't think my life is out of balance.

Nuff said.

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Day 101 - April 11, 2010

"You understand now that the more you give, the more you have left to give?" - Sharing Susan by Eve Bunting

Inside me is a miracle waiting to happen, call it my heart, my spirit, my humanity, whatever. If I try to save it and hoard it all for myself, it only shrinks smaller and smaller. But if I give it away - lo and behold, it grows! I could give for a thousand years and never use up half of my heart.

Sometimes it's scary to give away your heart. Although reading this again, that's not really what they mean. Or, wait. Yes, it is.

Well. It's difficult. Especially when not everyone wants it, or you think not everyone deserves it. I don't even mean romantic type giving away your heart, either. Any kind.

We can all work on that.

I will try. But for now, I will sleep. If you notice that I'm giving my heart to you, be glad! And give some of yours to me :)

[post-write edit: Thank you for that piece of your heart. :) I'll try and reciprocate.]

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Day 100 - April 10, 2010

"Be patient, Mayumie. We're almost there." - The Falling Flowers by Jennifer B. Reed

Have I said "Are we there yet?" for the last time? Am I ready to stop itching and fretting because every little thing isn't happening right this instant? Am I old enough to be patient?

Ohhh, patience. Can't believe that. Today we were forced to be patient. We didn't really want to be some of the the time.

This was the craziest day EVER.

I don't even know how we all survived it. It was kinda ridiculous.

Really great things happened for Day 100.

So so crazy. I will explain it all when I can type it. But let's just say.. Patience is a virtue that we don't necessarily possess. Given the circumstances, though, you'll understand.

But until I can type them all, you'll have to be patient. Good. Night. ... Finally.

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Day 99 - April 9, 2010

For those who are willing to make an effort, great miracles and wonderful treasures are in store. - "A Tale of Three Wishes" Stories for Children by Isaac Bashevis Singer

Do I spend too much time on my duff, doing nothing? Do I consider watching TV and hanging out "doing something"? OK, so I don't have to run a marathon today, but as long as I'm making an effort at something productive, I'm putting myself in a position to get the most out of my life.

"Luck is the residue of design."

Basically, good things happen when you work for them. I think that I've been working for them, sort of.. and they've been happening. Life is good. Very lovely, and I'm quite pleased as of late.

I'm currently in Arlington. Tomorrow good things will happen, as we have worked for them.

Now I will work for sleep, and it will be good.

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Day 98 - April 8, 2010

Later in life Alec said he learned to be observant during his long walks to and from school. - With a Little Luck: Surprising Stories of Amazing Discoveries by Dennis Brindell Fradin

Today I'm going to - gulp! - walk. Maybe to or from school - or through a park - or just around the block. I look forward to seeing the little things I've been missing all my life.

I walk all the time. Walking is basically my only mode of transportation. So I feel like this is slightly irrelevant.

But I did walk without shoes today. I wore them to lunch, and then from dinner on, but I went most of the day without them. My feet were not very happy with me. I don't mind being barefoot, but this was kind of difficult. Can't imagine how I would go without shoes all the time. Sucks that all those people have to.

Also, a few days ago, the quote mentioned going out in the rain. It didn't rain that day, but it did today. And I made sure to leave my umbrella in the room. I think I enjoyed the rain more than others did.

Now, though, I am going to get some sleep. This weekend I'm going to DC to walk and walk and walk, so the blogs will be slightly delayed. Goodnight and sweet dreams, all.

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Day 97 - April 7, 2010

As Mrs. Del Rubio stamped the book, she said, "Remember to return it by April seventh." - Beverly Billingsly Borrows a Book by Alexander Stadler

 

Have I borrowed a book - or anything else - lately? If so, I'll make sure not only to return it but to return it on time. 

 

I am currently in possession of Annie's ruler. Which clearly, I should have returned, because on the walk back from Byars just now, it cut my finger open. Which I didn't notice until I used hand sanitizer. Yeah, just imagine that for a second, if you will. It hurt, quite a lot.

Much like my back does right now. Ohhhh man. It's a problem. I think it probably has something to do with the flip-flop situation that's been happening as of late.

Tomorrow, I'm going to try to not wear shoes at all. One Day Without Shoes. Because a lot of people don't get to wear shoes ever. And I've got like.. waaaay too many pairs of shoes, really. I feel like they might not let me into the cafeteria without shoes.. I don't quite know what to do about that.

• In some developing nations, children must walk for miles to school, clean water and to seek medical help.
• Cuts and sores on feet can lead to serious infection.
• Often, children cannot attend school barefoot.
• In Ethiopia, approximately one million people are suffering from Podoconiosis, a debilitating and disfiguring disease caused by walking barefoot in volcanic soil.
• Podoconiosis is 100% preventable with basic foot hygiene and wearing shoes.

So there you go. Some facts for you, about why people all over are going barefoot April 8th.

Now I will return myself to my bed - the day has been borrowing me for much too long.

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Day 96 - April 6, 2010

Give yourself to the rain when it falls. - Give Yourself to the Rain: Poems for the Very Young by Margaret Wise Brown

Ban umbrellas! Go dance with the little kids. It's your birthright. Your earthright.

If it rains today, I'll run outside.

I wish it had rained today! That would have been fun. I even have rainboots to splash with now! So next time it rains, I will go play. Maybe someone will play with me!!

I feel like.. that quote doesn't have to be literal, either. Although, I don't really know if I could explain that, so..

The next time it rains, you'll know where to find me.

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Day 95 - April 5, 2010

...I didn't know what to say so I wiggled my nose and made my bunny face and she laughed... - "Making Friends" In the Land of Words: New and Selected Poems by Eloise Greenfield

I'm not very good at bunny faces - and I'm too old for that, anyway - but I can do a killer [you supply the move]. Today I'll pick out a stranger and give it a try. A new friend may be only a killer move away.

"And yet our shyness with strangers often prevents friendship from ever gaining a foothold."

That's so interesting.

The strangers I come in contact with are generally prospective families, so I guess my insert here would be.. giving a tour, or something. Although I don't know. But I gave one today. So there are possible new friends, I suppose.

It's funny because it's hard to know when you can do something strange and it will make you a friend. What you can/should do really depends on who you're dealing with, and if you don't know them, it's really hard to judge what their reaction will be or whether or not you should make the first move.

My newest friend is only a dream away - I've been told to dream about getting dragons with a friend. So hopefully one of them is nice. We'll see! Goodnight!

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Day 94 - April 4, 2010

"I'll be right back, Baby Jay," says Mama Jay. "Don't leave the nest." - Leaving the Nest by Mordicai Gerstein

Heeding my parents' directions has kept me safe so far. I'll keep on heeding, and I'll remember this when I have a nest - and nestlings - of my own.

Have I left the nest, or is that when I legitimately move out? Because either way, I don't spend a lot of time in the nest. I'm guessing, though, that I still do basically what my parents have told me to do. Except do your homework before midnight and go to bed at a reasonable hour. Both of which I've failed at today. Time to do one or both.

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Day 93 - April 3, 2010

Put me in a blindfold so I can't see a thing. Even with my eyes closed I'll still know it's spring. - "Nose Knows" Pieces: A Year in Poems and Quilts by Anna Grossnickle Hines

Today I'm going to get to know my senses better. I'm going to close my eyes for ten minutes. Then I'll pinch my nose and muffle my ears for ten minutes each. This will help me do two things: 1. appreciate the rewards of my missing sense; 2. appreciate the surprising, compensating powers of my other senses.

Okay.

I actually would have loved to do this but I really just can't. I have to sleep right now because being awake and not crying is really not going to happen for much longer. Is crying one of the senses? It should be.

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Day 92 - April 2, 2010

I saw a little girl in a wooden wagon... staring at the rising sun as if it were the very dawn of creation. - Love, Stargirl by Jerry Spinelli

Why let the sun do all the dawning?

I'll give this day a second sunrise: I'll smile.

Well, yes. I'm pretty sure I smiled today. At least once or twice, haha. Because I've got my puppy and my mommy and daddy and sissy and house. And I get to get the mail! And I filled out the Census. Even though I'm not counted with my own family anymore.. WHATEVER, U.S. Census Bureau. I STILL EXIST HERE! Just so you know.

I'm sort of .. not focused on this blog right now. Somewhat intense conversation happening in another window. I also don't have much to say, today, anyway.

Smile, though your heart is aching. Smile, even though it's breaking. When there are clouds in the sky, you'll get by.

If you smile through your fear and sorrow, smile and maybe tomorrow, you'll see the sun come shining through - for you.

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Day 91 - April 1, 2010

When it came time for Miss Higgins to give out grades, she kept remembering the student who had brought her a pastrami sandwich. - Forget Apples; or My Report Card, My Menu by A. P. Phull

It's tough on teachers, having to make all those decisions on grades with nothing to go on but homework, test scores, and classroom participation. They need help. I'll help my teacher decide my grade with a gift. Pickles to pork rolls - whatever it takes - I'll meet the challenge.*

*April Fool's! You can't grub grades with food. (It doesn't hurt to be nice to your teacher, though.)

Wow, that was a great April Fool's joke. Really had me thinking I should bake Goolsby a cake.

I'm in the weirdest mood right now. So I don't really feel like writing much. But I'm home. (Thanks to my beautiful sister Christina!) So that's good.

Now I'm going to see if someone wants to get on my good side by giving me food. Goodnight.

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