Day 17 - January 17, 2010

So it turned out I was okay at some things but really awful at others. - The Off Season by Catherine Gilbert Murdock

OK, I admit it (to this page, anyway) - I'm not perfect. Sometimes I see kids do stuff that I know I'll never be able to do as well. And that's cool. I'm OK with it. For three reasons: (1) It's all part of who I am. (2) Who cares how good I am as long as I enjoy it? (3) Nobody else is perfect either.

Should I make a list? Of things I'm not good at? I'm sure I could. I don't actually know if I could make the opposite list. Things I'm good at? Somebody would definitely have to help me with that list, because I just don't know.

Something I'm not good at: Keeping my emotions in check. I suppose that isn't always a bad thing. If I could keep them in check, I'd feel/look like a robot. I can't, though. So my head hurts from crying, which I've done all day. In the cafeteria, on the way back to MaWa, in my dorm room with Annie, in my dorm room with Jack..

Remember when we talked about the "fact" that you all (friends from home, anyway) hadn't seen me cry, even though I do it all the time? I think everyone at Emory (and their mother) has seen me cry. A lady I don't even know came up to me asking if she should/could call someone, and was I okay?

If something makes me upset to the point of crying, I'll cry whenever I talk about it. Never fails. Even if I'm trying to not.

What is it? My mom and sister were supposed to come to visit me today, but they called while I was at lunch saying that they wouldn't be able to. So it was very upsetting.

So I cry all the time. There was even a blog about it. But if I were good at keeping my emotions in check, I know I wouldn't be me. And why would I want to keep everything inside anyway? That would be stupid, and so much work.

It's really early, so I won't go to sleep now, but I might take a nap or do some drawing.

Just remember that if you suck at one thing, you have to be good at something. So don't worry about what you're not so good at. It's probably a good thing.