Day 9 - January 9, 2010

Dawn was sitting on her front steps. She was reading a fat book. - Pickle Puss by Patricia Reilly Giff

Is that the way I go about book-looking? The thinner the better? Avoid fat books like a gym class dodge ball? What am I afraid of - having too much fun?

First off, I'll mention that I really don't want to blog. I have no interest in writing a blog right now, because I know that it involves talking about my feelings, which I don't want to do, because I don't want to acknowledge how much they suck right now. But I'm going to do it anyway, because it's my New Year's Resolution, and I would feel terrible if I didn't do it. Even though it's early in the game.. I still want to play it all the way through.

I drove by the food pantry and my $5 was gone. I hope for the reason I want it to be.

I drove by your house, too.

Because it was the first time I drove by myself. And I thought, for the longest time, that you would be my first stop when I got my license. You weren't, obviously. Or, not obviously. My first stop was actually CVS to print pictures for my 2nd, 3rd, and 4th stops.

So, about this "Today I Will." I'm taking books back to school. None of them are "skinny," but they aren't "fat" either. I'm taking books that I like, books that will make me happy, and books that I got for Christmas. I don't judge a book by its thickness; I judge it by its cover. Size doesn't matter. And that's how I feel. I really do judge a book by its cover. So sue me.

I have so much to do and I feel so overwhelmed because I don't feel that I have any time to do it. I don't want to go back to school tomorrow; not even a little bit. It sucks and I can't do anything about it. I feel like anything at this moment could make me cry, especially talking about it.

So I'm going to try to sleep rather than cry (though I'll probably end up doing both). Pick up something to read. Don't choose it for its size. If you know where my copy of Stargirl is, hand it over. That's what I'd like to read.