Day 3 - January 3, 2010

There's something about a blank page that makes me tingle. - Jazmin's Notebook by Nikki Grimes

There's a stack of blank pages in my life. Some of them, frankly, don't exactly excite me. But others do. Today I'll pick one out and fill it in.

Today I failed. Okay, that's slightly exaggerating. Excuse me while I go get a piece of cheesecake and some juice.

Okay. I didn't really fail. But I didn't do what I wanted to do. Not for lack of trying, either. First I'll talk more about today's "I Will."

A blank page can obviously be either literal or figurative. If I were an author, I suppose filling the blank page could be starting my novel. It can be me writing this right now. Just because it's not a physical page doesn't mean I'm not filling it with words like those on literal pages. A blank page could be any part of your life that is empty. The book says, "We all have blank pages in our lives: a thank-you or an apology not yet expressed, a forgiveness not yet offered, a challenge not yet attempted, a vegetable not yet tasted."

So I thought about ways to accomplish this. I thought about the blank pages in my life. And I knew exactly what I wanted to do. I wanted to attempt a challenge that I hadn't yet. It scared me. I feel asleep last night thinking of exactly what I would say to the person I wanted to say it to. I told a few friends about what I was going to do so that they could make sure I didn't chicken out. Then today... I tried. I dialed the phone, and everything started racing. I was scared; I didn't want anyone to answer. And no one did. I told my friend Katherine, said maybe it was a sign. She said, no Katie. You still have to do it.

(By the way, sorry about being vague about the task. I'm just not sure who all reads this yet, so I'm not sure how much I want to share.)

Since Katherine was so adamant about me still doing this, I took a nap and called back later. I got an answer, but couldn't say what I wanted to because I couldn't even be heard. I figured that it wasn't going to happen. Maybe someday I will attempt the challenge again. I feel like I could definitely do it. It was just hard today.

Another blank page that I have been wanting to mention is a literal one. On New Year's Eve, I was thinking about how this year, 2010, I will turn 20 years old. So I decided to make a list. I got a pen and a notebook and started a list of things I want to do before I turn 21. I won't list everything that's on it, but I'll mention a few. Some of the things I may have done, such as: read a classic, buy a lottery ticket, go to a drive-in movie. But I want to do them for remembering them. I want to read a classic that isn't assigned and enjoy it. I want to buy a lottery ticket and actually cash it in. (I won $2 once and the ticket is still sitting in my room. I am not $2 richer.) I want to go to a drive-in and actually stay awake for the second movie.

Things To Do Before Turning 21

• Sleep under the stars
• Take a trip by myself
• Dance in the rain in my best dress, fearless (Taylor Swift style :))
• Get my driver's license
• Watch a sunrise
• Sing karaoke
• Skydive
  
• Wear red lipstick
• Be in two places at one time (Mandy Moore style in A Walk To Remember)
  
• See something that is "The World's Largest"
  
• Have my fortune told
• Keep a resolution (hopefully this one will be achieved with this blog)
• Learn a song on any instrument (I just printed out sheet music to Aerosmith's I Don't Want to Miss A Thing)
• Say "I love you"

Some of them are stupid and some of them might not happen. Some of them will be easy to do, while others will be more difficult. I also didn't list everything I have written down. I hope my friends will help me accomplish some of these things, and maybe even do them with me. Maybe some of you will make your own list, and I can help with yours.

Today I didn't fill the page that I wanted to, but I think I filled others. And maybe I didn't fill that one because I wasn't supposed to today. Maybe there's a reason it didn't work out. So now I'll close the book for tonight, making sure to leave a bookmark in.

:)