Day 59 - February 28, 2010

"I've never told anyone," Great-grandma said, "but I've always wanted a pair of red shoes." - The Secret of the Red Shoes: A Story About an Elderly Great-Grandmother by Joan Donaldson

I'll get gift-giving ideas from listening, and I'll give people what they want - even if it's red shoes for Great-grandma.

My mother would kill for a pair of red shoes. Well, okay, I'm sure she wouldn't actually kill for shoes. But she's always wanted red shoes.

Although, I don't really have any gifts to give at the moment. But I suppose I will listen to what people say, in order to get them the perfect thing.

I need to also listen to my head, since it is telling me that I have Calculus in just 8 hours, and that I should sleep very very soon.

Get your grandma some red shoes.

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Day 58 - February 27, 2010

Saying "no" is not uncommon for Violet. - Violet Bing and the Grand House by Jennifer Paros

It's time I take inventory of my decisions. Is no common or uncommon for me? What yeses am I passing up because I don't say no enough?

No isn't too common for me. I tend to say yes to things. Especially if it's to someone I like. Like, if someone asks me for a favor, and I don't really have time to do it, but they're very close to me and I love them, I will probably do it for them. I'm sure I shouldn't do that as much as I do. Guess I should work on that.

It's almost 2am. I don't know why I'm still awake. I'm saying no to sleep, I suppose. Ha. But soon I will.

SAY NO TO .. things.

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Day 57 - February 26, 2010

Pictures are music for the eyes. - Looking at Paintings: An Introduction to Fine Art for Young People by Erika Langmuir

The world is full of great art. How much longer am I going to ignore it? Today I'll ask my parents to take me to an art museum. My eyes deserve it.

Well, that's ridiculous. I'm not going to ask my parents to take me to an art museum. First of all, the five hours away thing. Second, if I want to go, I'm thinking somebody else would take me.

So I didn't ask that. But I am going to see pictures. Although, they'll be moving, and sound will be playing. So basically I'm going to the movies. Music for the eyes and the ears. Awesome.

I went to see Valentine's Day with my BFF forever, Amanda! She is visiting me this weekend :D Then we went to IHOP with other friends! We had fun times. So today was quite a good day, overall.

I am quite sleepy, so my next adventure with pictures (that music for the eyes I love so much) will hopefully include dreams. :)

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Day 56 - February 25, 2010

She had eyes in the back of her heart. - A Year Down Yonder by Richard Peck

As I am being watched by unseen eyes, I am reminded that I, too, have unseen eyes, eyes that can see the pain behind a smile, the fear in bravado, the affection in a criticism. Today I will open all of my eyes.

So.. I don't really know what to make of this one. Even if my eyes are open, which I'm pretty sure they are, that doesn't mean I act accordingly. But.. I don't know.

Today has probably been the best day of the week so far. It wasn't even that good. The rest of the week has been worse, though. I got to sleep much more than I had any other day this week, I got to eat breakfast. Then I did some errands and went to work yearbook pictures, which, with the addition of temporary coworker Tony, actually went by pretty fast. I talked to.. Someone I've wanted to talk to for a while. That was actually one of my goals for yesterday/today, and today I did it, pretty much by accident. So maybe we'll talk again. Then in Drawing, where, knowing what we were going to do, I thought I would have a terrible time, I was surprised by the fact that I actually didn't do terribly. I actually thought I did pretty well. I probably failed a Web Design quiz, but that was the only low point. I had dinner with my friends, and then went to Byars to design flyers for other friends. Which went well. I pretty much love it when I'm creative enough to make something look good. I think they looked good, anyway. Then I had my first ΔΟΠ meeting. And now I'm here.

My eyes are open, I think. All kinds. But soon the normal seeing ones are going to close. So goodnight.

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Day 55 - February 24, 2010

Grandpa loves bare feet and bagels. Coffee with cream. Flipping the pancakes and mornings with me. - Grandpa Loves by Rebecca Kai Dotlich

My grandparents like to do things with me, go places with me. How long has it been since I told them I like it, too? If it's been longer than yesterday - or never - I'll say it real soon.

It would be cool if my grandparents didn't live 16 hours away. My mother would be quite happy. However, they do. So we don't do things as much as some grandparents/granddaughters do. Such is life.

When we do get to see them, though.. I like taking Grandpa out to breakfast and playing King's Corners ad Tripoley with Grandma. I like pretending to love Grandpa's turkey soup and Grandma's macaroni and cheese. I like the ridiculous rule that says I cannot sit on the bedspreads. I like how even though Grandpa forgets some things, he never forgets that he loves his granddaughters (and grandsons, and children, etc.). I like being able to tell that they still love each other so much after 60+ years together. I like to look at old pictures so I can see how beautiful she was, and how handsome he was.

Call your grandparents. Night!

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Day 54 - February 23, 2010

I believe I love my family, but sometimes I can't stand them, and they can't stand me... - What I Believe by Norma Fox Mazer

Am I mad at my family today? If so, it's OK, it's only natural. I shouldn't be afraid to admit it to myself - or to them. Openness and honesty are as important to my family's health as brushing is to my teeth. Love is big. Love makes room for conflicting feelings. 

I like that "love is big."

I'm not mad at my family today, though. Although, I haven't seen them in quite a long time. And I didn't talk to them today. But I'm not mad at them today. I do get mad at them. So that's awesome, according to this book. I understand what they're saying, though.

I really don't understand why I'm still awake (or why it took me about 4 tries to spell "understand" correctly). I also don't understand the level of lethargy I've got going on right now. I don't even want to get up to get ready for bed, even though I really want to go to bed.

Okay, it's time for me to do something. And for you to disagree with your family and be okay with it. Or something.

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Day 53 - February 22, 2010

George Washington was discouraged. - When Washington Crossed The Delaware by Lynne Cheney

Is there a roadblock in my way, keeping me from something I want to achieve? Am I discouraged? I understand now that discouragement often precedes achievement. Instead of retreating from the roadblock or seeking a way around it, I will boldly punch a hole through it and continue toward my goal.

I don't really know what roadblocks, if any, are in my way. (Well, obviously a roadblock would be in my way.) I feel that my current roadblock is lack of/need to sleep. So I'm going to plow right through that one in a minute.

I think roadblocks for me are laziness and lack of conviction/confidence/courage. I'll think about those while I sleep.

Punch a hole through your roadblocks (but not too hard), and I'll see you in the morning.

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Day 52 - February 21, 2010

Welcome to Writing Your Life. - Writing Your Life: An Easy-to-Follow Guide to Writing an Autobiography by Mary Borg

Today I will make a list of ten interesting things about myself. If I don't feel like stopping there, maybe I'll go on and write a book: The Story Of Me.

1. I am one of the newest sisters of Delta Omicron Pi. (I think that's interesting.)

2. My favorite animal is the manatee. (But if I could be any animal, I would be a squirrel.)

3. I have a freckle in my right eye.

4. I lived in Germany for five years. (No, I don't speak German.)

5. I would love to be a housewife someday.

6. I write a blog every single day. (But you knew that.)

7. I am a Graphic Design major. (And I hope I'm good enough to be one.)

8. I would love to be a really good cook.

9. Sometimes.. I'm craftastic. (When I am, it's AWESOME.)

10. I am beginning to think I'm more beautiful every single day.

Maybe those aren't the 10 most interesting things about me. But that is ten things that I find somewhat interesting.

You should make a list of 10 things about you that are interesting. But I'm going to try and get some sleep.

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Day 51 - February 20, 2010

"Yes! Visiting is nice," Muktuk says. "Who shall we visit?" Irving says. - Bad Bears Go Visiting by Daniel Pinkwater

Do I know someone who could use a visit? Someone who lives alone? It's in my power to make someone like that very happy simply by paying him or her a visit. Today I'll use that power.

I don't understand why I can't not cry. I don't even feel like I have anything to cry about right now, and yet.

I'm the one who lives alone. People can come visit me. Well, I visited Annie today. But it was different because I think she's different. Maybe that's why I'm upset. I don't know.

I could get a tattoo of a tear on my face like Johnny Depp in that movie. Although, I think that also means I've killed someone. Or witnessed a killing, depending. Neither of which are true.

I'm going to go visit the basketball game, now. Goodbye.

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Day 50 - February 19, 2010

"Not everything you hear about people is true." - Lizzie Logan Wears Purple Sunglasses by Eileen Spinelli

Today, as on almost every other day, I'll probably hear something bad about somebody. Maybe just a little thing, maybe a really huge rotten thing. I may be tempted to believe it just on the speaker's say-so, but I'll resist the temptation. I'll take a page from our system of justice: innocent until proven guilty.

I did it! I am a sister and I am overjoyed! Although you wouldn't know it; my sister name could legitimately be Crybaby and I wouldn't even mind because it's 100% true.

Since it's 2AM and I actually still have to wake up tomorrow, this is going to be very very short.

I did hear something bad, or something weird, about some people very close to my heart, today. But I don't believe it for a second. I know the accused would never do anything like that. So I think it's a bunch of crap.

Anyway.. tonight I am a sister. Elizabeth called me "Sis" and I was just like.. awwww!

Also. I love my big and my grandbig and my big brother. Just wanted to throw that out there, even though you probably already know.

Actually I love all the brothers and sisters, so. There's that.

Don't believe everything you hear - some of us failed at baking cookies tonight. Goodnight!

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Day 49 - February 18, 2010

It gave him an extra heartbeat to ... understand that grace is given. - What Hearts by Bruce Brooks

Grace. There's only one way to get it: It must be given to you. You may think you don't deserve it, but if you get it, cherish it.

Will grace come my way today? Will I even know it if it happens? If so, I will be grateful, as I would be for any gift. And looking at this from the other direction - is there someone whose life might become a little better with a tiny blessing from me?

It's funny that today's page said, "You may think you don't deserve it, but if you get it, cherish it." That's how I felt when I opened my mailbox. I was ecstatic, of course. But I wondered how it happened. I didn't really understand how I was special enough to get a bid, and I probably have thought at some points that I didn't deserve it. I am extremely grateful that I did, and that someone thinks I deserve it. Probably more than just one someone. :)

Delta Omicron Pi is the grace I received today, and this week, and for the rest of my life. I am so excited to share the grace with my new sisters.

Tomorrow is the last day of pledge week! We've almost made it! Lindley and I just made the very first ΔΟΠ shirts (sweatshirts, actually) that our ours and that we did all by ourselves (together, of course :)). I've got "Wagon Wheel" on, and I'm singing and happy, with crafting stuff literally all over my floor.

I'm going to try and sleep for a few hours before breakfast tomorrow. Spread the grace, and I'll see you in the morning, wearing my new letters!

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Day 48 - February 17, 2010

Kindness comes with no price. - Tongues of Jade by Laurence Yep

I'll make sure February 17th lives up to its name. And it won't cost me a penny!

It's random acts of kindness day, apparently. Isn't that just wonderful? I'm not writing this blog in the best of moods; just a disclaimer for you there. Well, I'm not writing the beginning of this blog in the best of moods. Perhaps something will happen tonight that will change my mind. But I don't know, because I don't know anything! I know, I'm not supposed to know anything until it happens. But that stinks. I hate not knowing what's going to happen. I'm just in a really bad mood right now. I feel like I can't do anything, even though I have so much to do. It's stupid.

I just want to go to sleep, and sleep for hours and hours and hours.

Random acts of kindness? No, I don't think I did any. Aren't I nice most of the time? Why does there need to be a special day for it? People should just be nice. I think I was nice today. I didn't do anything out of the ordinary that was super nice, but I wasn't mean. So I think that's good enough.

Today is Letter Swap Day, which makes me really happy! I am quite proud to be wearing the letters of our brothers. Very very proud. They are wonderful boys.

I've decided to talk to a stranger. However, the strangers are currently either stupid, disconnect right away, or tell me to study. Which is stupid, because I don't want to study/have nothing due tomorrow to study. Yeah, talking to strangers was a bad plan. They only make me more angry.

-------------------------------------

Hours later. I'm not upset anymore. I'm not angry. I'm not in a bad mood. Actually, quite the opposite. I am doing wonderfully. Tonight did turn out to be a good night; I guess the Black Eyed Peas sorta know what they're talking about.

I have a big brother now :) - the amazing Stephen Rainey.

Thinking about it, I never said who my big sister is, so! She is the lovely Jess Klick :)

I'm very happy about both my big brother and my big sister. They are wonderful, I can tell.

Tonight was good. I'm very nervous/worried/terrified about tomorrow.. But I'm thinking I will probably make it through whatever we do. Everybody's got my back; I've got my pledge sister, my new sisters, and my new brothers. If they think I can do it, then I'm sure I can.

Be nice to everyone: brothers, sisters, friends, enemies. And goodnight :)

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Day 47 - February 16, 2010

The whole afternoon Ruby kept quiet. Her mother wondered if she were sick. But Ruby wasn't sick. She had the blues. - Ruby Sings the Blues by Niki Daly

If I'm blue today, I'll share my feelings with someone I trust.

I was blue today. And I'm pretty sure I shared my feelings with people I trust, like Brian and my new sisters. I was having art related breakdowns, kind of. And I'm going to get a terrible grade on my unfinished product. But my big says that's okay, and everything will be fine. I believe her. Mostly because she's awesome.

Today was hard. I wrote about it for my daily journal, so I'm not going to say much about it here. All I'll say is that tonight, pledging reminded me of another kind of pledging that I had to do, both of which made me cry. The difference, though, is that in my situation before, I felt like the people were trying to make me cry and trying to hurt me, and today, my sisters were helping me through my tears and encouraging me and loving me, because they knew I could do it. They didn't want to break me down, like the other situation I'm thinking of. They wanted me to succeed, and they knew I could. And I did.

It is 2am, which means, waaaaaaay past bedtime. Share your feeelinggggggsssss. Goodnight.

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Day 46 - February 15, 2010

There's no official limit on how many friends a [kid] can have. - A Smart Girl's Guide to Friendship Troubles by Patti Kelley Criswell

I love my buddies, and I love to spend time with them. But I will not allow them to dictate who is and who is not an acceptable friend for me. Today I'll take a look at a bunch of kids I barely know and see if I can identify one as a potential new friend.

Oh, I've found my new friend. (S)he just doesn't know it yet. I'm not revealing who it is in case I change my mind, haha.

Can I just say... Chocolate.. and peanut butter.. Put together? = God's gift to the world. That Reese's I just had was the best thing I've ever tasted. I'm actually pretty upset that it's gone now. I may need another one. They might call me Kit Kat, but lemme tell ya, Reese's are amazing.

I don't have my glasses on or contacts in, so I can .. sort of see what I'm typing. However, my brain and my fingers are moving at waaaayyy different speeds, so I think that's a definite sign that equals bedtime.

Make new friends, but keep the old; one is silver and the other's gold!

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Day 45 - February 14, 2010

In the ancient city of Rome there lived a humble and gentle man.... The man's friends and neighbors called him Valentine. - Saint Valentine retold and illustrated by Robert Sabuda

Saint Valentine didn't invent love and affection. But he did give us an occasion to express them. There are people in this world whom I love. This is the day above all others to show it. I will.

Today I showed the beautiful Delta Pis that I love them! Theta Chis, too. :) Although it took me a while to realize that it was Valentine's Day.

Since it is quite late and I still have much to do, I think I will just say, You can tell people you love them 365 days of the year, not just one. So get on that. <3

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Day 44 - February 13, 2010

And from then on, both Kelly and Max worked hard to make their school a better place. - Max for President by Jarrett J. Krosoczka

Hey, it's my school. Repeat: my school. So I'll talk to a few friends today and see if we can come up with an idea or two to improve the place.

First of all, I'd just like to say: Hello my beautiful stalkers of Delta Omicron Pi!

I mean, sisters. :)

So about this improving my school. I don't need to. It's perfect. Because my life is now perfect with all these beautiful Delta Pis (and sexy Theta Chis) in it.

My friends can tell, I can tell. They are clearly the family for me.

Yesterday was amazing. I ran up that hill and it was like.. I can't even describe it. I was freaking out before I left the dorm with Annie and Ali. And then I got up there and I didn't need to freak out anymore. They were all there to love me and hug me and be there with me.

They kept saying they were glad I came their way. I kept thinking that was really sweet, but completely ridiculous, because there was no other way to go. It was always Delta Pi, all the way. Maybe they just didn't know that, but it was. They were the first dinner; I didn't need to go to any others.

And I didn't say much about it, because I didn't want to jinx it or anything. I actually got my white shirt Thursday night, and I was scared to get it because I didn't want to not have a Delta Pi bid and then be depressed about my sudden abundance of white shirts.

But at the rush dinner, I remember thinking... Well, first of all. I was about to cry half the time, so I thought they would think I was crazy. I was sure they didn't like me enough to give me a bid, or that I wasn't amazing enough, as amazing as the sisters are. I definitely went back and forth all week between optimism and pessimism. But I still wanted it really badly.

And so Friday after classes, I went with my friends to the mailboxes. I was totally afraid to even open it, but I did, and I pulled out a piece of folded paper... And I saw the back first, which said "Faith Hope Love," and definitely stopped breathing because OHMYGOSH that's a Delta Pi thing! I couldn't even talk so I just hugged Annie. Then I went over to Sarah, who was checking her mailbox, and told her, and we both jumped around like crazy people, SO EXCITED. I legitimately almost cried. Which, I do all the time, obviously. But still.

I think Friday was the best day ever. EVER. In the history of days.

So I need to go to bed. But I don't need to change anything about my school. Because now it's perfect.

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Day 43 - February 12, 2010

To anyone who'd listen he liked to say, "The things I want to know are in books." - Abe Lincoln: The Boy Who Loved Books by Kay Winters

Today I will step back into history. I will experience something as old fashioned as apple dunking, as time-honored as exploring the family attic, as priceless as an hour with Abe Lincoln. In other words, I will open a book and begin to read.

I will confess that I didn't read any books today, unless the one page from this one counts.

I will step back into history, in a way. Because today begins my pledge week into Delta Omicron Pi!

Yeah, so I'm totally unfocused because I'm too excited to type and think.

Read a book!

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Day 42 - February 11, 2010

Do you seriously believe anything worthwhile can be had merely for the wishing? - The Wizard in the Tree by Lloyd Alexander

Sure, I wish for stuff. Who doesn't? But do I spend too much time on stars and birthday candles? Too much time waiting for a genie to come along? Am I letting my wishes fall abandoned into the black hole of the future - or am I backing them up with action?

I will admit that I did make a wish at 11:11. Twenty minutes ago, even. I can't act on it because I'm wishing for a decision that has already been made. I'll let you know how it goes. Because 12 hours from now, I'll know if I am a new sister or just the same girl. We're hoping for the former.

I do think that when I wish for things, they are usually things I can't do anything about. I don't wish for things I can make happen. So this is a bit flawed, in my opinion.

I really have to do some work before I can go to sleep, which hopefully happens soon. So wish for me, if you can. :)

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Day 41 - February 10, 2010

Soon, they couldn't agree on anything. - Together by Jane Simmons

In my relationships I won't go out of my way to disagree, but I won't shy away from it either. Disagreement is a sign of honest difference of opinion. If I can disagree with someone and still remain friends, I'll take it as a sign that the relationship is real, not fake.

It's very very late in my mind.. Brian is very much going to love this blog. As much as he loves tired Katie! That's me, by the way.

I disagree with people. It is good. Because fighting is fun sometimes. Just not evil fighting, like Ninja Turtles. Because I do not want to live in the sewers with a giant rat.

I am going to sleep. You may disagree with that. But it's okay! Hahaha.

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Day 40 - February 9, 2010

My head spins so much when I think of all that, that I must stop. - Climbing the Stairs by Padma Venkatraman

It happens to everybody: You're drenched under a cloudburst of life. School. Family. Friends. Clothes. Cavities. Long division. Your poor head is spinning. You're getting dizzy. What can you do?

I'll turn my back on all that, that's what I'll do. I'll walk away from the cloudburst. Go swimming. Play ball. Start a hobby. Do something physical, not brainy. Not forever. Just long enough to clear my head. 


I am currently sitting in Web Design doing absolutely nothing, because whenever he tells us to do something, half of the class needs help, so he has to go around to everybody and talk to them individually. I have done all he's said to do.

I think my life is a cloudburst of life at the moment. I really might be going crazy.

And I should have done something physical today, since it told me to. But I am literally in so much pain right now that it hurts to do almost anything. It feels like I'm falling apart. So hopefully that resolves itself at some point in the near future. Because it sucks to be in pain. I'm only 19! I should not be falling apart physically.

Anyway. Cannot believe it's been 40 days of this already. Blows my mind. 40 days of 2010, too.

However, today basically just wants me to be removed from my crazy life situations. Which I think I've been able to do, a little bit. So that's good.

If you physically can, go exercise! As for me, I will be going to bed.

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Day 39 - February 8, 2010

While there are many bad things about having a crush, just about the worst of them is the stupid things you will do because of it. - "What's the Worst That Could Happen?" by Bruce Coville

The next crush I have on somebody will probably lead me to do something stupid. So be it. But I won't go totally bananas. I'll apply two controls on my crush behavior:
1. I won't be stupid in a way that hurts someone else.
2. I'll try to learn something from the experience.

The first stipulation makes me think, DON'T STEAL ANYBODY'S MAN. Which is good advice, I think. I usually don't try to steal anybody's man. Don't really think it's good to be the other woman, either.

By the way, yes, I have a crush on someone. Possibly more than one. That's just good sense; gotta have backups. Obviously I care about certain crushes more than others; one in particular that's probably not going to work out.

I couldn't tell you what I'm learning from this situation. I'm learning how much it sucks to be away from somebody. How much it affects my mental state when I hear something that's barely news. Which I've now learned is nothing important.

Today I learned how much I freak out if a guy who normally doesn't talk to me, does. It apparently doesn't happen often enough for me to not freak out. That's what I get for hanging out with girls all the time at school. I miss my boys. :(

I've done two rush dinners that I haven't mentioned yet, so I'll do that now.

Thursday was Rush Dinner #3. Alpha Beta Chi. The theme was "Villians." I went as the Queen of Hearts, mostly because I had a black and red dress, and that's the picture that was on the invitation, so.. I didn't have to do much thinking. Which is always good. The dinner was longer than the others, and I didn't enjoy it very much. I'm sure some people did, but I could tell I didn't fit with the sisters.

Yesterday was Rush Dinner #4. Pi Sigma Kappa. The theme was Sports. I went as a football fan. A soccer fan, I guess. I'm thinking in European, because the jersey is Schweinsteiger from Germany. So he plays soccer to most of us here in America. Jeez, I sound like a foreigner. Okay. Anyway. It was SO much fun. There was dancing. The girls are awesome, and really nice. I think we all had a really good time.

So ... back on the topic for today? Crushes are accurately named. That's all I think I need to say at the moment. I'm crushed by .. my stupidity. Yeah. That pretty much sums it up.

On that note, it's time for bed. Don't do anything stupid over somebody, guys.

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Day 38 - February 7, 2010

Archimedes was a mathematician who lived in Greece around 250 B.C. One day, while taking a bath, he finally figured out a problem that had been troubling him for ages. - I Wonder Why Greeks Built Temples: and Other Questions About Ancient Greece by Fiona Macdonald

I'm pretty good at reading words, but can I "read" other things? Can I find answers to my questions in the ordinary trappings of my everyday life? I'll make a little game of it. I'll play Archimedes. I'll pick a question, then see if I can discover the answer... in the kitchen... or the backyard... or the bathtub...

Can I just say, first of all, I don't have a kitchen, backyard, or bathtub? Well, there's a kitchen down the hall. Campus for a backyard. And there is a really really gross bathtub that no one ever uses.

My question doesn't seem like it's going to be answered. I would love it if it were, though. I didn't even have it until earlier tonight. I can't even tell everybody what it is. But I can't answer it myself. Someone else has to answer it for me. It's funny how answering questions can give you more questions than you thought about to begin with.

Today was Rush Dinner #4. I'll talk about it later.

It was also the Super Bowl. We lost. But I guess I'm not really upset about it.

I wish I'd gone to church today.

My head is everywhere, clearly. Thoughts moving a mile a minute. I hate .. I don't know. Being such a girl? Mentally, that is. Anyway..

I'm going to do some more reading for class and then head to dreamland, where maybe, my questions will be answered.

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Day 37 - February 6, 2010

"You'll know this for yourself, someday," Ellie said. "How forgiveness sets you free." - Tell Me Everything by Carolyn Coman

Is a hatred consuming me, diminishing me, paralyzing me? Is it squeezing me into a clot in a dark corner? Today I will let it go. I will come up from the darkness and stretch out in the sun, and I will walk tall again.

I'm not harboring any hatred. Some annoyance, yes. Or maybe a lot of annoyance, most of which involves my ex-roommate. Yeah, ex. Like we broke up and haven't returned one another's things. That's how it is, because currently, she is still using my room as her personal storage bin. Okay, yeah. That's me "harboring" some annoyance. It quite irks me. It's been suggested that I just throw out her things. But I'm not a mean person, so I can't, on good conscience, do that.

I'll work on it.

I did have a pretty darn good day, today.

I woke up at a reasonable hour, went to breakfast, and to the basketball game. Which was so much fun! I haven't been to games lately but I'd never seen people here get that excited about it. It seemed like everybody was there, and it was a gold-out so most of us matched. :) We did the wave! I don't think I've ever done the wave at a game. And we won! Take that, Hampden Sydney.

Then I had a girls' day out at the movies with Eryn, Sarah, Jenna, and Brianne. We went to see Dear John. It was good, but made me cry way too much. Stupid Nicholas Sparks, making me cry all the time.

Then I cleaned and organized my room, which is always fun!

Sarah and I tried to deliver some sorority RSVPs, but couldn't get into the other dorm. So we went to The Hut for a late dinner. Luckily, Brian and Thomas were there to entertain us! I got onstage and sat on a stool like a beat poet, entertained the boy working, and preached to my audience. It was quite a lot of merriment. I thought so, anyway. Thomas will probably read this and disagree vehemently. But it's okay, because we doubt his origins.

By the way, welcome, Thomas! :)

Last night I had a dream about someone where I read his blog.. It talked about how obsessed I was with him, even though he didn't really like me. So now in real life, I don't plan to talk to him unless he talks to me. Just in case it's true. Because I'm really not obsessed with him.

I think it is time to go to bed and cross something else off the list. I'll try to let go of .. things.

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Day 36 - February 5, 2010

Get plenty of sleep, and stop worrying. - Charlotte's Web by E. B. White

I'll live today to the max. Then sleep the Sleep of No Worries tonight.

I lived today to the max. :)

I went to class and then lunch with Annie, where we had FOUR COOKIES. Each. They were so freakin' good.

Then I just chilled. Totally chilled. Like a freakin' cucumber. That's how chill. It was awesome.

Went to dinner with the girls and Brian, and then Brian came back to my room and we sat on the floor and made art. There is paint, ink, pencils, and 7 pieces of art on my floor right now. I need to hang them up.

Then we all went to the Holy Ghost Tent Revival. It was fun; we danced quite a bit. (This was a concert, by the way.) There was this adorable couple there who I would love to be one day. (Half of it, I guess.) They don't even go to our school, so they must love the band. But they made my night, they were so cute. Dancing and singing, totally not caring what anyone thought of them. I told them afterwards how adorable I thought they were, and they got even more adorable when they were like, awwww really?! Thanks!

Then Brian and I went to the Hut for mozzerella sticks. We sat with some pretty cool girls (those kind who are so awesome from a distance that you wish you could be them, and then you actually talk to them and they're just as cool as you thought) and then eventually I came back.

But I had a lot of fun today! I lived it to the max. And now I'm going to sleep the Sleep of No Worries. It's gonna rock. You should do the same.

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Day 35 - February 4, 2010

She [Rosa Parks] was not going to give in to that which was wrong. - Rosa by Nikki Giovanni

Do I tend to take the easy way out? Do I decide what to do based on right/wrong? or hard/easy? Do I understand that sometimes doing nothing is actually doing wrong? Do I give in - or dig in? Today, just for myself, I'll seek honest answers to these questions.

I can tell you already that this is going to be a short blog, because I'm tired and I'm singing, two things which impair my thinking.

I've been singing the same song for quite a long time, actually. It's "Bless The Broken Road" by Rascal Flatts. It's pretty much amazing, and I kinda wish I could legitimately sing it to/for someone.. eventually.

It's Rosa Parks' birthday, which is why that is today's quote.

Mostly I think I do what I should. I obviously take the easy way out sometimes, even though the hard way would often be the good thing to do. I can't think of any examples.. putting off schoolwork? Sure. I do that.

I guess I'll try not to.

Goodnight, all. I'll tell you about my night tomorrow. I'm too sleepy now. I'M TAKING THE EASY WAY OUT. Don't do that.

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Day 34 - February 3, 2010

Home is more than just the place we return to after being away. - Home: A Journey through America - paintings by Thomas Locker, compiled and edited by Candace Christiansen

Today I will list five things I love about my home, things that I would miss if I were away.

My goodness, that's easy. I am definitely away. Here we go:

1. Lilo
2. Mommy and Daddy and sissy
3. Mommy's food
4. The basement
5. My friends
6. Checking the mail
7. Having everyone close by
8. Other relatives that live close - Aunt Shelley, etc.
9. Christ and Grace Episcopal Church
10. My house!

Okay, I obviously listed twice the amount I was told to. Because I am away, so I know what I miss, I guess. I would have put - having my own room. But I have that here now, too. As soon as somebody comes to get the rest of her stuff. Hint, hint.

So today was Rush Dinner #2. Kappa Phi Alpha. Wait, I'll back up. Because I don't think I talked about this yesterday.

Yesterday was Rush Dinner #1. Delta Omicron Pi. The theme was Mafia. I wore Brian's blazer and tie, and came with some scantily clad women, so it was like I was a huge pimp, haha. It was fun! I felt like I talked to a good number of the girls, and despite (or maybe because of) the fact that I nearly cried, I really felt like that's where I want to be. I'm ultra worried that I won't get a bid.. Because I really want one. All those girls are amazing. I would love to be that amazing. But I don't know if it went well. I'm nervous. I don't even find out until next Friday. 9 days. There's a countdown in my phone now.

Anyway. Today was Rush Dinner #2. Kappa Phi Alpha. (Deja vu??) The theme was 90's TV shows. I went as Trixie from Speed Racer. I've got the hair; why not work with what I've got? Haha. It was nice; the girls were nice. The ones who talked to us, anyway. It seemed more about them than it was about getting to know us. Which was fine. But I didn't really know very many of them to start with, and I don't think I know many more than I started out knowing. Which is also okay. But I could tell that it wasn't the right fit for me either way. They all seemed nice, but it just wasn't right. They mentioned a lot that you would know when it was right, and I could tell there that it wasn't.

I guess I'll go to bed now, in my bed away from bed; room away from room; home away from home. Goodnight!

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Day 33 - February 2, 2010

"What about the consequences?" - Catalyst by Laurie Halse Anderson

Consequences? You mean, like, I can't do bad stuff and get away with it? You mean if I break the law - whether it's parents' or police law - there's a price to pay? You mean the stupid, inconsiderate, foolish decision I make today could bite me in the rump tomorrow?

I understand that the answer to all of the above is: Yes. I understand that there's a connection between what I do today and what happens tomorrow - or even for the rest of my life. So I'll make today's decision a good one. 


The reason there is an "extra" paragraph at the beginning of this blog is because the "Today I Will" part didn't really make sense without the summary. I put the whole page in for everyone's convenience.

I'm so sorry about my terrible blogging as of late. This one is about to suck, too.

The connection between what I do today and what happens later is probably Delta Pi. Depending on how the dinner went, I could have been eating with my future sisters. I really really hope that's how it goes, but I won't know until next Friday. I'm freaking out already.

BY THE WAY: Who voted for Ghost Rider? Seriously. I really want to know. Comment this with what you answered.

I can't really say anything else tonight; I'm behind on work and EVERYTHING, and me writing this rather than doing that work is probably something that will have a bad consequence. So good night, and make good choices!

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Day 32 - February 1, 2010

It is also human nature to define a person by his or her job, which is a mistake. - The Sledding Hill by Chris Crutcher

I already think about what my life's work might be, my job. But that will never be the total me. I will always be more than my job. No matter how much I love my job, I will never allow it to become all of me. And I will keep this in mind when I consider others.

But a job can tell you about a person. An ideal job, especially. What the person wants to be.

I should be drawing right now. Or blogging, even. Technically I'm doing the second one. But I'm not doing a very good job of relating to the topic.

I'm really tired and stressed and lonely and everything. My back is killing me. Feels literal, even.

I'm gonna try and go to bed, because I have a Calculus test in less than 8 hours, then five more drawings to do before class at 1:30. (Which, if I actually do them, shouldn't take too long.)

So I guess, don't judge people by what they do, because they're more than that. Night.

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